Love story(ies) & lessons


Dear Emily,

I see you & your beautiful posts. It all looks wonderful & gorgeous and just so not my life – which is what makes it all the more alluring.

And then today, after heading down a bit of a emilyhenderson rabbit hole, I took an unexpected & delightful walk down your memory lane. It started here and landed up here… but i wasn’t reading it for the reasons you would’ve expected. See, i’m obsessed with other people’s (love) lives and admittedly, it’s often because i think that they might be so much better than my own!! (working on this as per my 40th manifesto).

Of course, when you offered me the chance to read about your (no doubt perfect) ‘ups and downs here‘, i was naturally ALL OVER THAT!!!! And then, within the 1st paragraph of reading He’s truly my soulmate, best friend, and generally my most favorite person in the world’, I really hunkered down for a good read on how my own marriage wouldn’t match up to the glamour, ease and all-around awesomeness of yours (hmmm – really need to take that manifesto thing a little more seriously!).

But alas, it was everything but…. it absolutely had the ups AND downs, some genuinely heartbreaking moments, some wonderful ‘eureka’ moments, but mostly it was authentic, honest & real… and i loved how it reminded me (again) that we’re all just people at the end of the day having our own experiences & feeling the same things (both good & bad), just in different packages – and that no one actually knows anyone else’s story simply by their cover (that lesson is ringing bells from somewhere!!!!) – unless they open their story up to let you read their pages.

So thanks, lady, thanks for sharing YOUR love story – and reminding me ONCE AGAIN that life’s simply not perfect for anyone – regardless of how it may seem from the outside… or how beautiful their Instagram page is. (I’ll let you have that win – you really are one styley lady!!)

Here’s to another 10 wonderful years to you both. xx

PS i’ve taken my pledge & do hope to do my bit towards more babies.

Β  Β  Β 

A big fat red middle finger

big fat middle finger

You know what’s fun about TTC? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. Not the sex. Not the two weeks of waiting that’s inevitably filled with all sorts of hope filled nudges – even though you know – YOU KNOW – that it’s all bullshit and the only thing that’s real is whatever means positive on the end of a plastic stick that you’ve pissed on. Not the monthly crashing disappointment that follows said 2 weeks thanks to the big fat middle finger in your pants. And certainly not the redness that punches you in the face again and again and again for whatever reason requires the removal of your knickers. Whether it’s your 1st month of trying (and failing. miserably) or your 10th – it all sucks. Every. Single. Bit.

But you do it again. And again. And again. With no guarantee that you’ll ever see that smiley face, little cross or whatever. Because TTC sucks. Until it doesn’t. Or you move on. And that’s what I keep reminding myself every time I feel like shit & guilty that I’m not satisfied with the glorious gift I’ve already been blessed with once.

But maybe that’s just me. Yup, probably just me.

Life wants to work out the deets – so don’t mess with that.

wrong way

Dear Nicola,

I’ve never met you but I just wanted to say thank you for reminding me that life will ALWAYS have it’s own ideas of how things should roll.

You think you’ve got is sussed in your head, on your vision board, Pinterest or whatever, your star sign has indicated awesome changes, and you’re feeling pretty sure with what’s what.

Then life knocks on the door (or in this instance calls you) and gives you something ENTIRELY different to what you expected. So maybe we will land up staying in Waiuku (we’ve just bought the godamn house for God’s sake), but then maybe we won’t… either way, your call was a damned good reminder that we just need to focus on the essence of things – ’cause working out the details of the ‘how’ is defo one of life’s favourite things and she can get pissy when you mess with her plans.

So thanks – message received.


Me xx

PS I absolutely adore Collete Baron-Reid & she often blogs about this – here’s an example – so do pop over and see her… I’m sure you’ll love her as much as I do!!